The Mergees – Sort it out Emergent, We Want an Award Ceremony

200802251009So the Oscars have been wept along to, and we’ve had the BAFTAs and the BRITs and the Grammys… I think people are missing a trick here. Come on Emergent, give us an award ceremony! We demand a tacky hotel and venue, with numbered tables, free alcohol and cut away shots to Andrew Jones as he shuffles when the Lifetime Achievement category approaches!

Someone should design a gong… I reckon a brass cast of a tea light should do it.

And the award for Best Use of a Video Projector in a Badly Lit Space goes to…

Further categories and nominations welcome. The ‘Mergees’ start here…


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9 responses to “The Mergees – Sort it out Emergent, We Want an Award Ceremony”

  1. Lord, save us…!

  2. Category: Achievement in Hair (While Making It Look Like You’re Not Really Trying)

  3. Categories:
    – Most prolific Blogger
    – Most gratuitous use of unnecessary punctuation marks on publicity. (eg: re:connect, un:churched, dis:praxia, etc.)
    – Cleanest Apple Mac…
    The list goes on.

  4. Best facial hair
    Deepest deconstruction
    Church with fewest participants claiming to be a movement
    Strongest brew (coffee and beer categories)

  5. – The Flatest Leadership Category
    (I think we’re gonna need a bigger podium for that one).

  6. jonny baker hosts
    karen ward & mark peirson report from the red carpet
    hosted at the fuller seminary auditorium
    additional categories:
    best original blog post
    best blog posted adapated from another blog post
    best sound editing of a mark driscoll rant
    worst supporting community
    least tolerable praise song

  7. whitest atonement metaphor nomination: Scot McKnight for his golfclubs metaphor
    unintentionally bad hairdo nomination: D Kimball
    most likely to use “post” as a prefix for any historical event: Tony J
    most improved theologian: Pete Rollins
    fundamentalist/foundationalist emergent wannabe nomination: Mark Driscoll
    best supporting role: Ingrid at

  8. Chris Brain, anti-hero and patron saint of EC.
    Lifetime Achievement Award
    for outstanding contribution to car-crash-church
    Can he be revised yet? Is he recoverable?

  9. most likely to be labeled a “heretic”
    least likely to author a controversial book
    most linked to
    best name recognition while still having zero facial recognition